I never thought I’d be someone with an ‘addiction’, my own closed-minded judgment of what I knew about this term. But during these years, using substances gave me temporary relief from my reality, made me feel ‘happy’ like I could get through another day, and made me feel social so friends would want to be around me. I thank yoga and myself for having the awareness to know substance abuse is never the answer for dealing with trauma. The only answer is to go through it and do the work…to practice compassion, patience, honesty, understanding, and kindness for yourself.
Transformation does not happen overnight, it can take years. As a Doctor recently shared with me, I will never be fully ok from the trauma I’ve had, I will always walk with a limp in my heart, but I now choose to feel it all instead of numb. I now choose to be honest with people in my life when I’m in a dark place, rather than embarrassed. And I choose to wear a badge of honor that I’m still standing after all I’ve been through.
If you’re struggling, please know there is a healthy way out, and reach out for help. There is always hope.